But I say to you who hear,
Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.
To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also,
and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either.
Give to everyone who begs from you,
and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back.
Luke 6:27-36
So, we all have at least one person in our lives, whether it's past or present, who is "difficult" to deal with. (And if you don't, please tell me how you do it, because I would love to know how to please everyone!) But especially these past couple weeks, I feel as if I've run into a trap of negative energy.
Do you ever find yourself wondering, "What on God's green Earth did I do to them!?"
And maybe, juuuuust maybe, something did happen. And maybe they're having a hard time forgiving you or seeing past it. And maybe it's the other way around! Forgiveness is not something that is easy, by any means, but it is something that is necessary.
I read a Bible study (link at the bottom of the page) that discussed some of the things we can do when having to deal with these Problematic People. Here's some of the things I learned.
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| Photo from: Sullivan Perkins |
1. God uses people in our lives to build character.
Do not act out of selfish ambition or conceit, but with humility think of others as being better than yourselves.
Philippians 2:3
We should think of others as being "better". Not better in the sense that you are inferior, but better in the sense that they, along with yourself, are a child of God and your brother in Christ. We should not have selfish motives and do things for people out of the kindness of our hearts.
That isn't to say that we aren't going to do things -the dishes need done- just to get a certain person off our case -your roommate says it's not their turn but clearly they haven't done dishes for two weeks-, but try to change your perspective a bit...
"And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two."
Matthew 5:41
So you do the dishes to "keep the peace". Good! That's what Jesus wants us to do! Remain peaceful. And if that means going the second mile, then so be it.
3. Also, remain humbled.
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 11:2
This kind of ties in to numbers 1 & 2. It makes it a lot easier to forgive and ask for forgiveness when we aren't hung up on our pride. Solving a problem can be as easy as letting go and forgiving or asking for forgiveness.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:16
This is the ultimate example of yielding to others! Jesus Christ put each and every one of us on his list on top of his own life. Including you and including the difficult people in our lives. Yielding does mean sacrifice, but we are supposed to love one another as Jesus loved us. Jesus loves them, and as a child of God, you should to.
"Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother."
Matthew 18:15
Goodness gracious, I can't stress this point enough. Your personal problems with someone are YOUR personal problems. Once you announce an issue, it's no longer personal. You lose any right to say "that's not your business." Jesus wants us to handle our problems like adults, and this means with mature, private adult conversation.
Communication can solve many issues. Remember your humility and forgiveness. But know when enough is enough...
6. Walk away from situations that are out of hand.
A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself, but the simple pass on and are punished.
Proverbs 22:3
Know when it's time to walk away. If you are willing to move on from any hardships with this problematic person and create something fresh, then you've done your part. If they don't accept your friendship, it's time to put things in the past. There's no reason for us to trouble ourselves by the water that flows under the bridge. It doesn't matter how much the water crashes and rages, because the water never reaches us. We focus on our walk straight ahead.
7. His Word is the key to remaining peaceful.
When a man's ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.
Proverbs 16:7
His Word is a gateway to peace. These are just a few of the countless scriptures that guide us to forgiving. I encourage you to read as much as you can on respect and understanding. Sometimes it's hard, but it's necessary. There's a scripture for just about everything!
MY CHALLENGE FOR YOU
Pray for whomever came to your mind this evening while reading this post. Whether it be one or one hundred people, pray for them. And then, pray for yourself. Pray for the ability to stay humble, to forgive, to offer friendship, and for the wisdom to know and the strength to walk away and brush it off!
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